BoSPMwaA! Chronicles and Histories and Timelines

Histories ... though given the leadership ... we may be safer off calling it herstories

Since it's incarnation, the BoSPMwaA, has stood for its goals and morals, withstanding numerous attacks from VILLIANS, dealing with Mcleans, and other nefarious doers. Never had the team been prepared for that fateful day when our leader, the rhythmic Calypso, on a secretive mission to see Space Ghost, the sole ruler and night talkshow host of Cartoon Planet. She returned in daze, upset at whatever was revealed during that time. The following is a select release of audio recordings that were taken on 08-08-96:

Calypso?
Hang on a sec. (scramble around in panic) Aha, smelling salts. Calypso, where were you? Did something happen at the meeting with Space Ghost?
" . . . citizen . . . "
Okay, we'll have to talk later, BoSPMwaA.
(several hours later--Marvel Time)
Okay, Calypso's resting comfortably. I calmed her down enough to find out what happened, and it isn't pretty. You see, Space Ghost revealed that he's Calypso's real father. Onslaught has nothing to do with it.
Yes, my friends, our revered leader Calypso has been retconned. In lieu of flowers, throw cash.
--Jessica Murray
I wish Mom Woman were here.

Some of the responses were less than tactful of this event, while some were supportive of this obviously startling revelation. It remains to be seen as to what the possible ramifications of this discovery shall be.

On 08-09-96, a new twist appeared to befall us:

(two hours before the above)
(((((____FWWAAAASSSHHOOOOMM_____)))))) . . . . tst - tst - tst.
Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me? Gods! Whomever takes care of this node must be out at the moment. Nothing but salt crystals on the floor. Hmmm, I wonder where am I? Better yet, WHEN am I?
Hmmmm, I wonder if _he's_ around. He shouldn't be. As I recall from the logs, he's down by the fountain reading right now. Ack! My head hurts from the dilation's . . . got to leave him a message about that to take care of.
I've got to look for the files before the others get back from wherever they are. Lets see, ah here we are, the Purple Files. Just where my counterpart in this timeline will look for, only 3 hours from now. But now, everything will go as MAV's have planned for.
Here we are, time to leave.
tst - tst - tst . . . . ((((bbbbrrRRAAACCccckkk)))))

Scotty LaForged put out this plea upon discovering the altered recording:
If any of our other members can recall any of this . . . I don't know what to do. It's just another mystery in we will have to solve. Does anyone else have anything they think might be relevant?

Calpyso, the Adder and Monty were all present in the room, or so they thought, and did not see the intruder enter or leave.

On 08-20-96, one of our members, Brother Monty came back from a flash-front and divulged a somewhat secret information on the future of our Brotherhood:

I saw the end of BoSPMwaA, I jumped to the last conclusion, the conclusion of BoSPMwaA! Sentinals and other newspapers where everywhere, the future was dark indeed. enforcers Mathematician (divide and conquer, literally), Teflon (nothing can stick to him), and Blue Shark (who takes a bite out of crime) were fighting against the anti-BoSPMwaA enforcers Troll (big, ugly, stupid, foul), Armor-all (a huge supervillain armor with a mind of its own, also it creates rust protectant with its strange powers), and Ugly Stick (wears a bag over his face, his appearance is deadly.) It seems their will be a traitor who will turn against us leaving us vulnerable to enemy attacks.
The anti-BoSPMwaA were mutants kicked out of BoSPMwaA because they were more than slightly peeved. Apparently the BoSPMwaA standards are more strict in the future. The traitor is said to be one of the current BoSPMwaA members.
One of us will cause our downfall. It's sad but true..... BoSPMwaA may fall in the dark days ahead. The great leader Rerun wanted me to warn the past. But if this is destined to happen what can we do about it.

Suffice to say, this new revelation put us in a rather strange quandary as to what to do. Various theories were bandied about such as:

Beats the hell out of "the dog ate my homework." Any chance on a deal for BoSPMwaA-mobiles;
Whether or not jumping to the conclusion was useful or not;
Were they using a full-court press strategy?
If he (the Traitor) must be from the same Dark and Gritty FutureTM as English Major of the Original BoSPMwaA. It was terrible; they forced her to go around correcting people's grammar;
Did Teflon carry 3X5 cards (or if he couldn't have used Post-Its);
Was Blue Shark the gruff one, mac;
Was it a world where armor evolved from men?
was Ugly Stick a relation to the Abomination or Swamp Thing or not;
Why our security could be breached since we don't have any security to breach; my (according to Jessica) four year old neighbor could sneak up on us;
Vermilion as the BoSPMwaA Traitor. He's a seriously pissed mutant! (Of course, when he gets popular, we'll have to retcon him out of the job;
What has it (the Traitor) gots in its pockets;
and most importantly on the future leader: Rerun? Not . . . Rerun Van Pelt?

Then on 08-22-96, Scotty Laforged replayed a tape he had "acquired":

You'd think we'd do that to you? Why, we've been taught by the best! Marvel . . . oh yea, nevermind.
Little did Brother Monty know, but hidden within that laundry-o-matic, was another one of my little cameras (why do I have them everywhere?) and this is what it recorded:
It got our Brother washing his sundries and unmentionables ( though why he had twenty pairs of underwear with the word ADD on them is beyond the scope of this post :D ) but it also got another camera shot of the front of the New Mutants Memorial Bar and Grill. Lo and behold, an amalgamated creature came shumbling out, gave a great roar and burp. Papers flew out of its mouth, and then it ran off towards the docks down the street.
At that moment, _someone's_ socks covered the lens and was left there forgotten.

Some time between then and now, Brother Padvocate's goldfish died. We all mostly grieved

Due to Calypso's abdication on 08-30-96, we had an outpour of emotion and accusations fly about. At first, our members were a bit stricken and distraught over this turnover, as the taped excerpted responses below showed:

from Boomstick:
[[Gasp]] Calyppppsssssssooooooo!.......... Noooooooo! I loved her [sob] [sob] . with that out of the way You Mean With HER Out Of The Way! Power hungry fool! Who's next... you never know maybe You'll fall at the hands of someone you trusted.
I may follow but never trust, not again not EVER again! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!
To which Brother Bruce replied:
So you're the future traitor! Scarred by the apparent usurped throne of BoSPMwaA, spurned by the local populace, you turn to the dark side for companionship. Slowly, but surely, you become eeeviilll, truly evil, and black at heart. As the insidious changes take place inside your warped mind, we, the unsuspecting, defenseless, trusting BoSPMwaA brothers and sisters blindly follow along with your crazed beliefs. Then, one day, before we know it, you turn into Onslaught! (oh, wait, someone already did that . . . damn!. . . uh . . . sorry . . . can we just forget about this little outburst?)

Brother Boomstick expressed concern with:

We'll see where this thread goes and then I'll decide my position on the team and my new roll there. I still feel allegiance to the group (if not the *new* "leader").
Right now, I'm sitting around angsting, like all good little mutants.
Calypso, Are you all right?
Have you been exiled, killed? I must know. I-- I oh, god I can't deal with this anymore
I just hope that you haven't gone on a permanent "vacation." Is that a polite term for MURDER, Jess?!
Or does vacation mean she's been exiled to Siberia?
What have you done with her?
I swear I'll--
I'll,... well, I don't have any shells for my shotgun sooooo... I don't know what I'll do

She has not, contrary to someone's opinion, been working for Jaque Coustea and the National Geographic Society.

And so due to the concern over the living viable welfare of said Calypso, our former leader sent this to assure us of her safety and plans for the future, it is direct snipped response to Jessica's notification and Brother Boomstick's anguish:

. . . Always the show-off, Jessica. That's going to get you in trouble one day.
. . . A coup? Jessica, really. That histrionic streak is going to be a serious problem in the future. Listen, Brothers and Sisters, the truth is that I'm hitting the road. Going out to find myself. First stop's Puyallup; I'm going to listen to music that's loud enough to drown me out.
. . . This much is true; I'm leaving Jessica in charge.
. . . Brother Boomstick, don't be sad. I'm coming to visit you.
. . . Oh, Boomstick, that's sweet. But really, it's my fault for letting Jessica write this particular press release. But someone had to be in charge during my trip, and since she's the Office Goddess anyway, she'd been running the operation for quite some time. Don't worry, I'll come visit; we can go to a concert.
. . . THAT is quite enough of that. While Jessica is occasionally foolish, she can't be hungry for the power (which she already had). At worst, she's a title-hungry fool. And as for falling at the hands of someone you trusted, I haven't fallen.
. . . Yes, but you also have the ability to shoot flame from your hands (with the assistance of a keyboard) and a very serious shotgun.
. . . I'm sure she does. So do I. But I trust her.
. . . Oh, ye gods, not this traitor stuff again. Look, I don't believe in fate. There's no such thing as a BoSPMwaA Traitor.
. . . We have a throne? Why wasn't I informed? Jessica? What? Where? In the bathroom? Why would that scar you? Hemorrhoids? That's ridiculous!
. . . No spurning, it isn't nice.
. . . Hey, it worked for sister Mindset.
. . . Too late. Oh wait, Jessica's not evil, she's wicked.
. . . All the smart@$$ remarks I want to make here could be taken as insulting.
. . . Uh-huh . . .
. . . Anyone who'd follow Jessica blindly deserves what they get. Argue with her; I don't care.
. . . Onslaught? . . . Okay, it's forgotten.
One last time,
--Calypso

As it stands now, she is on a train World tour and we shall have updates as it comes in. We shall miss you, revered former leader of the BoSPMwaA!
First Stop: Puyallup, to visit Brother Boomstick

On 08-31-96, Brother Monty came back again, after he went ahead from before, this time going sideways and forward, then back again, and . . . hold on while we sort out this problem, uhm, retcon out, anyhow, he related this in two different accounts:

Quiet! I'm trying to hide from the brainwashers. I had to take an aquatic form to escape their island fortress but my useless powers only allow half a transformation. The future I jumped to had the character so I took his name. I guess I should return to being my old self again.
Quiet, the brainwashers are still out their, whoever or whatever they are. And my power really does cover useless facts! I'm great at trivial pursuit! Now let me hide, I never know when they will return. They'll get us all if we don't keep hidden. I hope the future BoSPMwaA doesn't object to me using one of their names.
I broke the brainwashing and wanted to rejoin. When I escaped the brainwashers (whomever they are, my mind reaches a blank when I think about them.) island I tried to take aquatic form but I was only partially successful. I escaped and realized this was similar to the future form of a BoSPMwaA member. I decided to take the name, rejoin BoSPMwaA, and lead you boldly into the future to challenge and overcome all obstacles. I never did end up in hotel California (I did spend a few days in motel Nevada though) and you expected me their so I tried to conceal my identity. I would have done it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!

or did he? Who wrote whom?

We received this message later on that night:

Wait a minute, now that he's in human form he looks just like me. His E-MAIL address is different but nothing else. I am the real Joshua Jarvis. I am the Monty who betrayed you! He is an impostor. Why so I feel like an issue of PAD factor? DEJA VIEW? I feel like I seen this in a comic before. I am the real Monty, he is an impostor.

Some of the visitors to our establishment discussed some concerns as to our exclusiveness, going to far as to call us:

You fargin elitist Sunset-Riders-Church-of-Xbooks-BoSPMwaA bastiches you!
The unmentioned aardvark shall go unnamed.

On 09-01-96, Tox, one of our villains related unknowingly to one of the hidden cameras:

Who is the BoSPMwaA-Traitor?

I mean, based on the fragments of Calypso-s post that made it back from the future with Blue Shark, the following seem to apply:
It's not Calypso, obviously.

Probably not Blue Shark, either.

She does say the BoSPMwaA "should never have trusted him"; therefore the BoSPMwaA-Traitor is male. Granted, net.gender is not always apparent.

My Theories:
An apparently female member is a male in RL, and his gender will be revealed when he betrays the BoSPMwaA. This would be a good resolution to the mystery, since most of us hadn't even considered that, say, Honkers might be the BoSPMwaA-Traitor.

If Kid York joins, he's an obvious suspect, due to everyone's initial suspicions of him. An interesting twist might be that, precisely because he *really is* Scott Lobdell, he is subject to the pressures that would cause him to snap.

What if Chris Claremont is the BoSPMwaA-Traitor?

I hope he is found and exposed, since I want to have the pleasure of destroying the accursed BoSPMwaA myself, bwahahahaha.

The tape was then knocked out by some irrelevant yet useful for us information on Tox

On 09-03-96, Brother Monty retold us in pure Star Trek homage the future selves so we would not become us becoming us:

PADvice: PADvocate who uses his powers as a reference to inspiring writers who want to know how to write as good as PAD.
ECALYPSO: Calypso's dark future self.
MINDSET: emotional scanner who detects the good of all who enter BoSPMwaA to keep out our evil selves.

On 09-05-96, Jessica had the Adder attack Tox:

J: "Um, um, command decision time, Jessica, think of something, fast. Um, um, quick, ADDer, throw something at him."
A: "OK."
J: "Something heavy."
A: "Ok, OK." (glances around hurriedly noting whatever is within his immediate reach . . . *sigh* Not this again. . .
picks up a *very* large mackerel, flips it around like a Bo Staff, and proceed to whack Tox (?) upside the head several times with the slimy fish

*Thwack* *Thwack* *Thwack* *Thwack* *Thwack*
"OK, let's see what that does, and then we'll see if we need to bring out the big guns."

On 09-05-96, Brother Boomstick walks on by. Evidently Adder is rather persistent in his thwacking ;P

"I thought you were our pen man? Isn't the fish thing Monty's bag
[[The trollish villain stirs]]
[[weakly]] "gungh, no more fish"
*Crack* "How about a shotgun butt?, muaHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!, Er,..... sorry I keep forgetting, I'm not a villain" pauses, turns his head downward to the small furry creature at his feet. "Ace,.... chew his nuts off!"
"ah.. UHHHH..,, _AHHH_ AAAAAAARRRRGGGGHH!!!!!!!" Tox squirms and then is still.
"Ga'boy Ace"
Hero's (three) walk away.
nothing....
Epilogue:
In the blackness something stirs, something not quite human, smaller, uglier, more annoying..... A Troll!!!!
(drag) (drag) (drag, and I ain't talkin' short skirts lipstick and testicles here)
never... THE END

On 09-04-96 to 09-05-96, Brother Bruce, Brother PADvocate and Brother Monty spoke on record:

M: "A powerful person has appeared claiming to be a BoSPMwaA member. He is in some kind of daze believing it's the future when it is really the present. What should we do about this daze of future present?"
Br.: "Simple. We lead him along for a little bit, and then come up with a more immediate crisis, like a mysterious clone appearing and attempting to take over the world; we fight him, it's the most difficult battle we've ever fought, and then we completely ignore the daze of future present. Then, if people start wondering what happened to it, we do something even worse: Our fearless leader turns into an evil maniac! (I think a new mutant power is manifesting in me...the ability to draw parallels in BoSPMwaA to the x-books...could get ugly!)"
P: "I say we use him as a human shield in our battle against Tox. I'll stick behind him, and then have my reanimated carnivorous goldfish attack Tox. Besides, if we don't get this guy in the thick of battle, how will we learn his abilities?"

A new member delurked, Magus Doran:

I am an orphan. The Order of the Macadam killed my mummy and daddy and made clones of them which were possessed by demons and hurled me back in time where I spent 30 years as an amnesiac mercenary. I recently mentally merged with a clone of myself that was made by the Order to kill the clones of my parents, but instead found my uncle, the cosmic adventurer and absorbed his powers. In our battle my memory came back just in time to meet my grandfather who is none other than . . . my future self sent back in time to create me and prepare me for my battle with the Macadam. Of course there is the chance I drifted into an alternate past and the true Magus of this timeline is a Genoshan slave. Thus was created Magus Doran; child of past, present, future, and all stops in between. Enjoy your flight. Ssss
Occupation: Thorn in the side of the Macadam (those huge jagged jungle thorns, not those wimpy prickly ones)
Place of Birth: varies with creative team
Date of Birth: varies with creative team
Identity: Magus Doran's existence is unknown to the general populace of Earth, but on Jupiter I can't turn around without someone offering me a drink.
Turn-ons: premises for a Secret Wars III, Jimmy Olsen bow-ties, comics with hip beatnik talk in the "Smilin'" Stan style, Dad.

The villain Tox answers who he is on 09-05-96:

Ahem. It is known that Tox has a legion of trolls at his command. Not surprising, since he is the avowed enemy of the B*, and an awful lot of trolls are resentful of the B*'s elitist membership requirements. It is also known that Tox conTrolls his minions through Trollepathy and Trollekinesis.
Furthermore, Tox has not yet been observed outside of his battle armour, not even by the remote cameras.
One would point out, however, that it has yet to be stated, except by assumptive BoSPMwaA-ers, that Tox is, himself, a troll.
The truth will remain a mystery for as long as we can milk cheap suspense from having mutants ask:
"Who -or what- is (mysteryvillaincmonyouknowthedrill)?"

On 09-06-96, Brother Monty spoke up about 09-05-96, then Brother Boomstick replied to Jessica Murray's earlier query:

M: I don't know about Boomstick but I saw her powers when I attempted to hear light and to see sound. Her powers were missing for awhile. I just assumed she learned how to silence them. If she happens to be replaced by Ecalypso or Apocalypso I think I know where to find her. From her attempt to force Drake Mallard into being a member and her constant associations with space ghost you will have to search through the cartoonish heroes to find her. Check everyone from Captain Caveman to Blue Falcon & Dog Wonder. Calypso can't avoid these cartoonish hero types.
I am prepared for fish slapping armed with a variety of icthyological weaponry at my disposal. I have haddock, pollock, catfish, carp, and the dreaded lionfish for direct damage of the worst foes!
Then Brother Boomstick spoke:
(hopping out of character for a moment)
an impostor!> Er, well no actually when I'm at the computer I generally wear headphones to keep out other noise in the house and also to make the Usenet (where I spend all my time) more interesting to the ear.
As for the Calypso showing up earlier than expected, I wired her money so she could stop at the next train depot and fly the rest of the way.
Oh, also I'd just like to say that the whole argument was lost on everyone it was a series of jokes (I killed one by messing up Terrie's codename )
Oh, and it wasn't a response (in the technical sense) it was me describing the argument.

I'm coming off as a bit of a jerk aren't I?
"Yes"
What did you say?
"take those things off and hand me the keyboard...."
To which Calypso replied:
You'll have to excuse Boomstick, he's a little dramatic
"Am not, and I refuse to be described as such"
Um, may I remind you I'm the one in charge?
"Oh, right...yeah, well Then I'll quit"
It's in your contract, you can't quit without being kicked out and I wouldn't do that, unless Jessica told me to.
"Where does it sat tha---"
"Shh, we'll disc--"
"But, I..."
Um, if I might be able to say something without being interrupted---
--All right, now I'd like to commend Jessica for doing an excellent job as temporary leader, and please remember that it is _temporary_, kay?
Next I'd like to say that although I'm having fun here in Washington the weather has taken a turn for the worse and I'll be leaving after this weekend.
I've had a lot of time to think about the... retcon and despite Boomstick's arrogance and his exaggerating how things are really going, but he does care and he's helped a lot just being around.
You know your dating options are kind of limited when you're apparently followed everywhere by obnoxious street musicians so even a screwed up guy like Boomstick is fun to get close to.
Lastly Honkers, welcome to our Brotherhood and I'll do my best to keep away any of our members who might want to put your powers to the test (unless you like being Mob mauled by lunatics).
P.S. Jessica, where's my next destination? when do I leave? -Calypso

To aid the new membership drive on 09-05-96, Brother Monty stresses what we are not

The Brotherhood of Slimy Pale Maggots with an Aphid
The Brotherhood of Stupid Purple Mutants with angry Allegations
The Bestiary of Shaggy Panicked Mammoths with attacking Apes
or The Brothers of Salmon Punching Monsters with an Altitude

On 09-06-96, Tox resurfaces:

Murky thoughts, deep below the surface:
[[Well, two out of three ain't bad (no skirt). It would be one out of three except that cautious master villains *always* remember to wear a protective cup when battling a super team. Damn otters...]]
A battered and sodden figure breaks the surface of the harbour (just at the foot of the waterfall, in fact), drags itself wearily up onto a fishing pier (thankfully, there are no mackerel in sight), and collapses. After several long moments, the bedraggled villain speaks:
"Next time...must . . . remember...not to...let...heroes...write...fight scene..."
In time, Tox gathers the strength to trollepathically summon a cohort of minions with a pickup truck to carry him back to his hidden lair. Later, he reflects on his first battle with the BoSPMwaA while soaking in his Tub of Toxicity (TM).
"Note to self, addendum: remember that among mutant teams it is considered acceptable for all team members present to hogpile onto a villain and still be perceived as being heroic."
"Undoubtedly, this is because most mutant-book master villains are nigh-indestructible badasses, and/or in command of powerful teams of evil mutants. Clearly, it is time to upgrade my current assets..."
"DeTOX!"
"Ugh...whrfff...masht'r?" (The would-be nemesis has clearly not yet shaken off the effects of his inTOXication.)
"I must have a progress report on 'Project Progenitor'. It is high time we haunted these mutants with ghosts from their own futures!"
"Aff'rm'tive, masht'r."
"Now, as for my faithful legion...GO FORTH, MY TROLLS!! Take the Pike west as far as Springfield, and then head north on the Interstate. ASSAIL LUDLOW, VT!! It is your mission to kidnap the BoSPMwaA's newest recruit so that I may tap the power of the Foenix Phorce to restore my diminished energies (and stop thinking *that*, you net.perverts)!! Leave immediately after dinner!!"
Soon, an ungodly number of trolls are busying themselves with preparations to invade Vermont. One of the few not readying for war is a particularly weedy little troll wearing a chef's hat and apron, who tremblingly approaches his convalescent liege.
*YES, MARCEL?* echoes the trollepathic voice of Tox.
"Ermm, I only ask, do we serve the chowder for dinner, or the Mussels Hungarian?"
*HOW MANY MUSSELS DO WE HAVE LEFT?"
"Just over a half a ton, dread master."
*BETTER SERVE THEM UP TO THE TROOPS WHILE WE ARE AT FULL STRENGTH. I IMAGINE THAT FOENIX WILL NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT, BUT WE SHOULD HAVE ENOUGH TROLLS LEFT AFTERWARDS TO POLISH OFF WHAT'S LEFT OF THE CHOWDER.*
"As you command."
OK, why is Tox intent on cramming his troops full of shellfish before it goes bad? And how will the newest BoSPMwaA-er fare against his legion of trolls? And what was he babbling about to deTOX? And why is Ace, happily frolicking in the Cascade River, in more trouble than he thinks he is?
Next time,
Same B*-time,
Same B*-channel!

And we had this person appear as well:

Help!!! RRorgo is after me. kzzt...Magus Doran with kzzt distress call . . . ZZZAKT Rrorgo is out to kill me comrades...zaxt . . . he is...Maybe I shouldn't vacuum while using this thing. He has stamped his name on my forehead and that can only mean one thing...Mrs. McDonald my second grade teacher in Catholic school secretly had the hots for me...UGH. Wait . . . It's just newsprint. I have got to stop falling asleep while reading the funnies. Oh, yeah, the other message...uh Beyonder called.. I'm back and I'm even crazier this time in a RED leisure suit as Dark Beyonder. All muties will die. I am already hidden among your number BEWARE. My first crossover this is great. Everybody meet me down at Harry's for a happenin' celebration with suds and double-scoops galore, dig?
"Mega" Magus Doran

Later that day, Brother ADDer intercomed Brother Bruce:

Sorry about that. I knew you were, but I haven't been paying much attention lately so I kind forgot briefly. It won't happen again. In fact, I've got an assignment for you. I need you to go and protect our newest (relatively speaking) recruit Foenix. That Tox fellow is causing trouble again and I think you'd be the perfect protection. If you get into trouble, just yell for Vermilion or me and we'll come a runnin'.

On 09-07-96, Brother Monty and Tox battle:

Armed and dangerous I stepped from the shadows prepared to kick some serious troll. Luckily trolls aren't serious so my powers were ready. With a frozen marlin in one hand and a can of spam in the other I strode forward to slay the hideous trolls. I threw the can of spam (a trolls second favorite meat (I couldn't find goat) the dived for it chanting "SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM." With the trolls distracted I entered armed with the frozen marlin. "PREPARE TO BE SKEWERED TROLL SKUM." I shouted. From the shadows the toxic antagonist known only as Tox arose from his poisonous pool. "NO ONE shall CHALLANGE the POWER OF TOX." he shouted in various tones. I attempted to impale him on the marlins bill. Sparks flew as the bill sunk into his soft trollish underbelly. Loud uncontrollable hideous laughter rang out through the halls. I realized I didn't slay the real Tox, it was just an android made more realistic through Trollipathic and Trollikinetic manipulation. I noticed that his layer was familiar. I had seen it before in thousands of comics. It was dark, dreary, and had numerous computer systems, biological and technological experimentation equipment, and a fully stocked refrigerator. It was the ACME dreadmaster 20000 supervillain lair package. I took a pile of computer disks. Maybe the BoSPMwaA would find them useful, if not I could always download his copy of Doom. Then a com-pewter lit up as I was leaving, it sounded like something big was approaching, something evil, something that stinks of week old spam.

To address racm-x's request to close us down, Brother Boomstick posted on 09-07-96:

Um, hi I'm not our leader, but a member in good standing.
Jessica Murray is the only one who can make policy, but we are somewhat democratic and I'm going to make a few proposals 'kay?
Um, I'm not sure how this all started (the anti BoSPMwaA feelings) actually I am certain it's Aardy's fault, no one was coming out against us publicly until he started making parallels with the past. (the sad thing is you may have a point)
I understand the anti-BoSPMwaA feelings, we represent the wackiness of this newsgroup, but we have gone too far. We are letting each other get to one another and hanging out with your fellow crazies does send you farther over the edge, anyway on with my ideas.

(oh, by the way over half the BoSPMwaA stuff is currently these debates)
let us see......... a simpler acronym, hmm...

"B*" is pretty simple and easily typed let's consider it.

"the Brotherhood" is another good one.(although not an acronym)

"the B-men," ...nah too silly (and on topic)

any ideas fellow members?
A mailing list would be a big change, but maybe a good one although it would make it so that we weren't writing the jokes for others to read merely for ourselves.
Um, this may sound a little weird, but there are virtually unused NG's out there that we could muscle our way into, but then again we wouldn't all have access to it so This isn't a good idea (plus people would wonder what the heck was going on.

Hmm, maybe r.a.c.m.x needs a split (this is probably a radical solution) A r.a.c.m.x wacky and a r.a.c.m.x light the discussion group.
Think about it all the Iceman sleeps with gophers etc. would go with us, all the weirdoes would bugger off to r.a.c.m.x.w while all the people with spoilers reviews questions etc. would come here to old r.a.c.m.x which could grow up a little.
Oh well, I don't want this to become another argument this thread is for the finding of a solution to the serious versus wacky fight.
(Snowy, I'm not Calypso she's Jessica's invention I just took her mantle as members of the BoSPMwaA will be doing while Jess feels she doesn't have time to switch idents.)

The battle rages on to 09-08-96

"Ah, what you smell is sweetest victory, to my nose. Foolish mutant, you have played directly into my hands by infiltrating my sanctum alone!! How unfortunate for you that the Enforcement Squad have their hands full dealing with my legion of trolls: they cannot save you now!!"
The armoured form of Tox appears, blocking the doorway. The master villain focuses the sum totality of his powers, and a blazing twelve-foot Troll Pole appears in his hands. Tox whirls his weapon overhead in a huge coruscating arc for extra dramatic effect before bringing it crashing down.
*THWOMP!!*
The floor gives way, dropping both combatants down to the eleventh floor (behavioral research). Cages full of white mice and rhesus monkeys are swept aside as the duel continues. Despite a valiant and impressive display of fishmanship, the lone hero is unable to fend off the archfiend's titanic blows.
*WHOMP!!*
*CRUNCH!!*
*BA-THOOM!!*
His marlin shattered, Brother Monty reels backward and fetches up against a window as his foe winds up for the grandmother of all splash-page sockdolagers...
*THWACKKKERRRRASSSHH!!!!*
End-of-issue Splash Page: An up-the-nose shot of a gloating Tox as Monty flies out through the plate-glass window and begins to plummet to his certain (yeah, right) demise in the tumultuous waters far below...
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

We later find that day, Tox and a flatscan, Jennifer Matthews speaking:

JM: In the future, so that we readers can be better equipped to debate the extent of your powers, please be more careful to describe said waterfalls. It's important to know how magnificent (or not) this waterfall was. As you mention later on that your powers have been diminished and as the waterfall is a manifestation of your powers, it is important to know just *how* diminished you really are. :)
T: The waterfalls serve three purposes:

To provide a hazard to enemies, bystanders, recalcitrant minions etc.

Background scenery, particularly around the area of the secret base.

Ejection system. When getting one's butt kicked, it can be useful to plummet backwards in apparent (or even actual) defeat, disappear into the churning depths, and eventually resurface elsewhere, preferably close to home. It's an effective, if less than dignified, way to exit a bad scene. However, it tends to leave one rather exhausted.

T: "Note to self, addendum: remember that among mutant teams it is considered acceptable for all team members present to hogpile onto a villain and still be perceived as being heroic."
"Undoubtedly, this is because most mutant-book master villains are nigh-indestructible badasses, and/or in command of powerful teams of evil mutants. Clearly, it is time to upgrade my current assets..."

JM: Yes, and to be more careful as to your location. It's completely unclear to me how they found you in the first place. I thought you were blocking Mindset? Oh, well, all of these things can be handled so long as you make sure to write the fight scenes in the future.
T: They found me by reading my post about brooding in Boston. This has been referred to as the "on camera" phenomenon. Fortunately, it works both ways.

T: "Now, as for my faithful legion...GO FORTH, MY TROLLS!! Take the Pike west as far as Springfield, and then head north on the Interstate. ASSAIL LUDLOW, VT!! It is your mission to kidnap the BoSPMwaA's newest recruit so that I may tap the power of the Foenix Phorce to restore my diminished energies (and stop thinking *that*, you net.perverts)!! Leave immediately after dinner!!"
JM: Oh, excellent plan -- and so dastardly. Hitting the newest, and most inexperienced recruit. Very villainous. ;)
T: Oh yeah - and that's just the warm-up...

JM: -Jen, not a member, merely an observer. Consider this "The Letters Page"
T: Awright! We've got a letters page! Oops, erm, that is...
"So, we now have a Letters Page. Everything is proceeding as I have planned...Mwahahahahah!!"

Brother/Sister Frutopia joined BoSPMwaA! on 09-09-96

Brother Monty fell to tomorrow, 09-10-96

I was plummeting 1000 feet per second, I had to act, but how? My powers never work the way I want them to. I tried to fly, I ended up hovering in place. Then I had an idea! I will try to use my powers to plummet at amazing speeds and dash myself against the rocks. Then I was worried? What if my powers worked correctly for once? I decided to use both an unnecessary plot device and to jump to conclusions. I didn't know if I reached the adventure conclusion or the conclusion of something bigger. I didn't see my corpse so I could have survived or have been washed away by the current. Tox's lair was abandoned and in ruins. I walked past the old ruined Church and into the New Mutants Memorial Bar and Grill. There was no sign of the BoSPMwaA'ers their, in fact upon asking I got only one reaction "What's BoSPMwaA?" Then an old timer walked up to me and spoke "BoSPMwaA? They-re not around here anymore, some say their dead, some say they've moved, whatever it is we don't want to see their face in these here parts again. I jumped back to reality, partly because I wanted to leave this hellish future and partly because the physical manifestation of my body is hanging in midair and likely to fall any second. I attempt to plunge toward the rocks and end up falling slowly and landing safely. I take the computer disks with me and attempt to warn the group before it is too late.

On 09-11-96, when Brother Boomstick questioned Sister Mindset's membership, she replied to all:

Hooold on there. I'm a member, I am. Though I'm not a mutant, I was actually *requested* by Calypso to join the Brotherhood, and I was like the third to join, so by gosh, I demand my recognition!
As for allies, don't forget that I am the "liaison to the CEO" of Essex, Inc. ("Yes, you CAN put a price on life") and am therefore responsible for your health plan, heh heh heh.
Now, if you mean that I don't fight, well, of course not. I'm a telepath, silly. When all you guys are charging head-first into danger, I'm standing on the sides, making polite conversation with the villain, distracting him, figuring out his motivations, and hopefully converting him to our cause. Me, get into a fire-fight?
Oh, *please*... not unless you provide me with water-proof, flame-proof, laser-proof, claw-proof, plasma-proof, bullet-proof armor with self-regenerative abilities, life-support system, first-aid kit, and what the hey -- rocket boots. To heck with it, I'll just stay home and use my telepathy long-distance like anyone with any brains should do. :) Visual image: UXM #243, page 15, scene 1. I should thank Roland X for reminding me of the issue, even though it was an influence on M:I2 as anyone should be able to tell... Of course, I'm *different*, I am, (she said uneasily, trying to convince herself).

On 09-11-96, a partial fragment of a conversation of Brother Boomstick and Sister Jessica was taped:

... Um, but, Brother Boomstick, if we get the power to avoid electronic detection, won't it be difficult to find our posts?

Brother ADDer, nominates Club Australia as a BoSPMwaA haven

On 09-14-96, our Beach Party started!!!

MUTANT BEACH PARTY!!!!!!
Check/Leave your swim trunks and flatscan DNA at the door. Don't be offended, most of us are covered with enough fur to hide our unmentionables and the shapeshifters just turn themselves into eunuchs.
So break out the Foster's mate, we're gonna have us one shindig. Well, now our acronym is definitely cryptic enough to pique the curiosity of newbies so those who are looking for a little fun in the sun in this group should have no trouble finding it.
Patch Doran of the BoSPMwaA,
No, I'm his only surviving relative, he's dead. LOOK, BUDDY I GOT AN EYEPATCH AND BLEACHED HAIR EVEN I'M NOT HIM!!!

Then Tox came by with offerings that day:

As the cargo hovercraft of theme-party munchies rolls in...
Yep, we're unloading 1200 kg of clams, oysters, Pacific mussels and Vancouver scallops, suitable for steaming, frying up for clam rolls, or dishing out scampi style over linguini. Of course, the only proper way to start the feast is in traditional BoSOMwaA style, so...
Everybody grab a choice bivalve, place it on your chest (ideally, while floating on your back in the beer-filled dangerpool), grab a handy rock, and give it a good whack on a count of three!
Ready, everyone...
1...Long live BoSOMwaA!
2...Long live BoSPMwaA!
3!

Brother Monty queried then:

WOW! Tox is here and he is supporting the BoSPMwaA. Should we trust him? Well their are enough of us here at the party so we can keep an eye on him without ruining his or our fun. Do you think you can modify a waterfall into a waterside for the danger pool?

And Patch Doran spoke:

Well, we could always put him in restraints, but being as they would have to be mutant restraints he'd be getting out of them at least once per issue, so...what's the point. If he brought beer and jerky I say let him in.

Brother Boomstick replied immediately afterwards:

In normal BOSPM Party continuity the food was delicious and non-lethal but I feel as though I need to respond to Tox on this obvious prompt
Gasp!!! poisonous shellfish!
Dastardly Tox put Tox'ins in the food
The reason this is omitted is because it would result in a battle/kidnapping and we can't have that.
A group forbidden to partake of the fruit of the fan-fic tree doesn't have much use for villains.
(I'm getting quite a big head on the whole BOSPM Party thing, I feel as though I've made it. I'm popular, I run one of the two BOSPM threads and although not group leader am responsible for what appears to be a branch office of our organization, Party Central. The BoSOMwaA and Party Central are my ideas and others are talking about them. I'm really content, more so than I've ever been in RL)

errr Yes, Brother Boomstick, you are big . . . pssst, come here . . . *whisper* . . . thanks

Our new Brother Foenix came late and said to Brother Boomstick, who was next to the intercom of course:

F: I think I've been left out of the info loop. I'm REALLY lost about all this stuff. HELLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!!
B: (Again this is off panel stuff I had never mentioned a base for the BOSOM, although I have often refereed to the BoSOMwaA on numerous occasions)
Come on up! (use your own VTOL supersonic amphibious troop transport) the place is along the Washington state sea board, you'll recognize it. It's the huge high-tech facility dug into the side of a rock (also look for the cool search lights).
Monty: A "borrowed" quinjet (as long as the avengers are in the alternate universe no one would notice.)
F: How about a stolen supersonic bomber instead? Can I bring friends? With nuclear weapons? Hey!! Get away from those!!! Oh, hell.....
Honkers interjects: Get here anyway possible "Oh, hell" isn't something we want to hear about in the same sentence as nuclear weapons. And still members will get lost...while the males who ask for directions.
B: Head to America. Go west till land stops then proceed north till you find the high tech. HQ with the search lights.
M: Is this a place that Brucha got from Essex?
T: Bring the alcohol and pretzels! And not that cheap-o Bud crap. I'll bring REAL stuff! Guinness anyone?
B: Imported beer? Cool! lets see...No, all I've got is domestic crap, cheap wine, and half a bottle of Scotch, so we are running low on beverages.
T: Should I bring the otters or the gophers? :-)
B: Don't be silly, we already have otters. I wasn't intending this to be that sort of party, although it does have a certain appeal
T: Grab a partner! and your rodent of choice!
de Designer: Well, I want to have ferrets! (But I have to see if Wuntvor will give a few, and some of those handkerchiefs as well.
Note: Calypso is taken, as am I and, no you can't "cut in"
B: The last package of pretzels were dragged into the dangerpool with Ace (He likes 'em soggy). And the Enforcers are getting pissed about the lack of eats .
M: I was ordering pizza and snapple (I hope fruitopia doesn't mind) along with doritos, crunchy frogs (for the otters), and salmonella, ptomaine, shigellosis, and botulism. Just kidding about the diseases they don't cook that bad.
T: I thought the dangerpool was filled with beer? It'd make swimming a heck of a lot more interesting!
M: "It's a danger tidal pool so it will get more interesting when the tide changes."
Someone thought out loud Note to self: Fill with beer.
F: I'm on my way. With my friend's Bronco, I should be there about half past yesterday.
B: Just make sure you don't get caught in a slow speed chase.

Then this was recorded near our airstrip at Party Central:

I don't know, but--
SHEEEEEEEEEWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHSSSHHH!!!!

(warning, Scott (or other creators) if you are worried about accidentally stealing ideas don't read the rest)
(snipped spoilers)
Hold on I hear an aircraft landing on the heliport.
(walking to the upstairs heliport entrance)
Ah, Magn- er, Patch, oh and Fruitopia too! Welcome to Party Central (tm). Who was that?
"Oh, jus some guy... called himself Tox, I think. Had a funny lookin' copilot wearing a cowl--" [[Patch Doran]]
"yeah he kept arguing with the stewardess her name was.... uh, um... Zork?"
Zorak?!?
"Yeah tha's it. how'd you know?"
Lucky guess. CALYPSO! We've got trouble!
(yeah it is getting fictional, but I trust people like Tox to simply refer to their change in partners etc. Besides It's not like Kid York will leave just because he's afraid he'll write in a character hitting another with a frozen fish)
[[proceed with caution, we are hated and hunted for this sort of thing]]

On 09-16-96, the party continues and Tox is concluded:

Tox: Actually, the original plan was to use plastique and pressure-sensitive detonators so that everyone would blow their torsos to smithereens. This was why all the trolls were gorging on shellfish earlier (waste not, want not).
If you need a continuity patch, the diskettes liberated by Monty contained enough clues to alert the BoSOMwaA, who could then have used their unique powers to intercept the shipment and swap the explosive shellfish for harmless, tasty ones.
Of course, you also have my booby-trapped copy of doom (loaded with subliminal, muhahahahahaha).
Sadly, this is true. It's very hard to accomplish anything evil without having a plot. Fortunately, my work here is done; by using the Tub of Toxicity to transform myself into Tox, the BoSPMwaA's last and deadliest foe, I have corrected the temporal errors which were created in my native timeline when the original Tox was retroactively erased from reality. Having restored the timestream, I will now be able to return to the future and, in time, to regain my normal form.
[[[Takes off helmet, begins to shimmer]]]
Goodbye, Mom. Goodbye, Dad. See you later, BoSPMwaA.

On 09-23-96, Brother Bruce related this tragically sad tale:

Yes, it's unfortunately true. You have probably been without my somewhat witty, slightly sarcastic, and usually (according to Jessica Murray) bleak outlook on BoSPMwaA and the Marvel Universe. I know, I know, you will all miss me. I'm sure you've all noticed how little I've posted recently (let's not kid ourselves, no one noticed any difference), and have sorely missed my presence (Bruce who?). I regret to inform you that, due to increasing difficulties in dealing with my mutant abilities (the main one being firing projectiles from my nostrils), I am taking a sabbatical in New Zealand. I plan on studying how Hercules can flirt with so many women and not actually sleep with any of them, and how Xena does that weird trilling thing she does (for those of you who weren't aware, both Hercules and Xena are filmed in New Zealand). I will return, when my powers are more under control (flash image of cable fighting techno virus in last cable issue on screen). See ya.

On 09-26-96, Brother Monty observed:

It's dead isn't it? After a week (or two) without being able to get on the newsgroups I return to find only three BoSPMwaA posts that are not arguing about it being off topic. This is the BoSPMwaA party and I'm going to fight for my right to party! (isn't that a line from some song?) But first I'm going to watch the Cable and Shatterstar show (as seen in X-FORCE.)
Also someone (I think it was Jessica Murray I'm not sure) said for us not to get fan fictionish unless we parody a marvel plotline. O.K. CALYPSO: some thought her to be dead, some said she was a figment of your imaginations, but after she traveled back in time to kill her creator she caused chaos through the very fabric of reality itself. after murray theirs THE AGE OF APOCALYPSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See ACE as the DARK OTTER
The terror of an age where APOCALYPSO rules trying to live up to her parents evil legacy
BoSPMwaA lead by the goo tox!
and more in the exciting pages of THE AGE OF APOCALYPSO!!!!!!
I wonder where that music is coming from, it's getting louder (it has a good beat to it though) the silence lasts only for a moment then: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T KILL ME!!!
I beg of you I don't want to die!
I know I got fan fictionish it's not my fault, I have the right to free type, see I made it on my computer today!
HELP! r.a.c.m.x is after me and they are armed and dangerous. I did a fan fictionish post. AAAaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then Magus Doran replied:

Boy, going through that damn crystal always makes me carsick. Well, this is the mysteriously de-aged AoA Magus Doran. I guess that's how I got back (Must remind Kevitch my memory implants need a tune-up every three retcons)
The party lives on. We're here to stay. You didn't miss much in the debate. As for the party itself it HAS died down a bit. It all went downhill after some of us installed Leisure Suit Larry into the DR computer. Things were going great until some blonde bohunk airhead in a leather jumpsuit popped in out of nowhere and ran off with all the chicks. There are those who want us completely off the group because they don't have killfiles.
Basically we want this to remain the friendliest group on the web. Too bad the RACX move didn't take. I couldn't even find my posts there on Alta Vista. Oh well, Prof's been hauled off so now nothing is in the way of converting Manse Xavier into the Bordello of the Brotherhood or Xavier Hollander's School for Improper Youngsters.
I wouldn't worry so much about the BOSPM threads, we can be just as zany in the other threads.

On 09-30-96, Brother Tomcat noted:

Uh-oh.
Ummm, I don't wish to alarm y'all, but...
I think I see the hideous Apocalypso and her crony, the diabolical Hohn Cho-locaust, on the horizon, making a steady approach in this direction, deliberately extinguishing any and every vestige of BoSPM life, w or w/o aA.
Miaow. Help! Unfortunately I ran out of coffee this morning, and my toast landed marmalade side down when I dropped it, so I'm really not at the top of my game. Brothers and Sisters, I can't do this on my own. This is a call to arms.
We have to foil Apocalypso, stop the sense-of-humour cullings once and for all, and restore Calypso to her rightful position as leader of the BoSPMwaA. Then we can all dive into the M'Kraan crystal, and send Tox back to his slime-ridden, troll-infested reality. To wit, verily quoth I Brother Snowlock: 'tis the time to fight for our right to party.

A call went out by Brother Monty on 10-04-96:

Now is the time to strike! we are in our headquarters guarded by a circle of protection against trolls. Now is the time to get fan fictional while r.a.c.m.x is busy fighting McChicken and company.
Seriously I want to start the BOSPM party thread again. We can get a little wild without going completely off topic.

Lady Phoenix requested info on BoSPMwaA, to which Brother Tomcat answered

On 10-07-96, Brother Magus Doran seconded the motion as such:

Yeah, the last one kind of mutated into a Les Miz thread. However, I found the old party at the bottom of Jamaica Bay, but I ain't swimming in that cruddy water to get it.
Someone suggested moving to the tropical X-Isle

I got some cases of KIWI Beer from my Australian days left over. I just dried out some jerky and ready for another Mutant Beach Party. If we can get Adam Hughes to draw it I'll be in Hog Heaven, which wouldn't be too good for me considering how much bacon I eat.
Magus Doran of the BoSPMwaA
Let's invite Northstar so Gareth won't show up either

Then later that day, de Designer, handsome man he is, suggested:

I just have some Wine Coolers left. Yea, I know that they are "girl drinks", but I spent all my money on other stuff, and they were from a party I had last weekend.
My pet ferret is here, "Streak," named after a pet that one of my characters had. She was able to transform into a mini-lightning bolt.
"Wait, Streak, come back here . . . you can't go into water yet, you're still charged up!!!"
-ZZZZZZZCKCSKSKCCCcckk!-
"Uhm . . . MEDIC!"
-chitter chitter, swippp, chitter-
"Uh, no problem here officers, just a little party here."

"Hey cool! That jolt must have re-energized the old heli-carrier that was in the bay!" Now we can fly around and perform our BoSPM Business anywhere in the world. If we want. Where to first?"
"Anybody want to come up with another acronym for it's name?"

During the Party, on 10-06-96:

Note that none of the attributions are linked to similar in any way . . . it's just conversation from everywhere. These mikes pick all a manner of shit
It is very infectious, isn't it?
Not as infectious as Essex's plague samples he placed by the snacks.
Nathaniel, dear, you left these vials on the table... oh, those obsessed scientists can get so forgetful sometimes...
Brucha!!! get Sinny's butt over to BoSOMwaA HQ, nothing makes a party like an evil genius.

"I've always thought the Patrician is a party animal. Can you imagine waking up next day and remembering all those witty things you said and did, and then realizing that he was listening?" -- Terry Pratchett, in a.f.p.
But watch the punch...
>>He may try using us to test his new mutation formula...
Oh, for goodness sake. The man just can't ever leave his work at home...
>->GAHCK<- "Damn you Essex"

And then, we all start to grow extra appendages, and shooting out Generic Power Blasts (TM), a la X-Men #51. We should also make sure Hank McCoy gets his blue butt over here; a good genius with a wacky sense of humor is almost as fun...

>>>Monty, beer!!
Monty beer? I never had a beer named after me before.
Good beer, please. Not like that cheap watered-down shit I had at that frat party last night, the WORST I've ever tasted, even compared to other frat-party beer (and that's saying a lot)
>> We should also make sure Hank McCoy gets his blue butt over here; a good genius with a wacky sense of humor is almost as fun...

That's a good idea. And I do have connections in that area.
Well, THAT goes without saying.
I hope so...
Jessica, yourself (pretty much goes for everyone, but it seems as though she's hardly around anymore at all), Fruitopia, you're in charge of the punch.
Just keep Sinister away...
Guh,.... Too late.
Well, I'm having trouble with these weird wings sprouting from my back... And Broomstick, you're staring to look a little blue in the face . . . literally.
uhh,...... damn I can't think of anything else we really need
How about some, uh, you know, 'all-natural herbs'?
Um, hold on...wait a minute.....you're not saying what I think>you're....you are, aren't you?
What? I'm just saying that we should get a hold of some Alfalfa Sprouts for Snacks. Good n' healthy, you know? Why, what did you think I was talking about, you depraved person you?
Oh, boy...um damn...well, hmm...JESSICA, are we allowed to do that on company property or time? Do we have mandatory drug testing here at the BoSPMwaA/BoSOMwaA?
Considering that Essex was able to get in here, probably not!
Well we are a group of mildly insane r.a.c.m.x posters who have invented unremarkable, or useless (or otherwise humorous) superhuman powers and have banded together to form the Brotherhood of Slightly Peeved Mutants with an Attitude or BoSPMwaA for short, or BOSPM for shorter.
Well, thanks; I've been wondering, is all. Oh, I see Essex is trying to inject Brucha with a syringe filled with 'DNA enhancer' again...
What, again? Cripes. Once, I said, only once! What other things do you need to do? Oh, a booster shot? Well, why here? There's nothing more irritating than uncontrolled telepathy at parties...
someone better go put a stop to this...
Sure. [slap]
No, you damned well deserved it.
All right. Yes, I'm sorry.
Fine then, but not in public. Later.
The kegger is back in full swing (well, almost)!!
Well, with the present quality of the X-Books, it might turn out to be a drink & get all depressed & bitch about how life sucks session...
Under order of our leader we are forbidden to angst on company time.
But wait; isn't this a Mutant party? I thought the Supreme Court recently ruled that anything involving mutants must have at least a 33% angst level...
We have a reduced angst permit, it's perfectly legal.
But, Boomstick, this isn't company time, this is a party. :)
Now on sale: Milbury's reduced angst potato chips! All the taste and half the worries of your everyday potato chips...

Following that, on 10-07-96, Brother PADvocate spoke:

Umm... I didn't bring anything. But I'm here, after a brief time as a semi-undercover spy in the other threads! Don't worry, I won't touch your drinks. Just gimme a cup of ice, that'll do nicely.
(wrt to Streak)
OK, so how's Streak going to respond to the BoSOMwaA?
and
"So what's with all the comatose otters?"

Hey, let's head to the Arctic Circle. the Not-so-savage Land is up there, right?

And he named the vehicle as well
"Whaddya mean acronym? Just name it the BoSPMwaAmoblie, like any good super hero vehicle!"

Brother Magus Doran interjected at the Party:

What?? A cease-angst would mean an end to dangling plotlines, which can lead to major continuity gaffs when a new editor comes aboard. What good is being a mutant if you can't drop out of a battle for a moment or two of introspective lamentation? You try being a ronin with a zillion origin and obscenely huge mutton chops and try to have a rosy outlook on life (sniff). Ah, well It IS a party after all. Never mind me, just one beer too many.

I propose a BOSPM: Bitchandmoan thread for those who felt repressed by this ruling. But you're right, I'm here for a light hearted filler issue before our next adventure.

Bleah, stay away from the Foster's too. It's been sitting out in the Australian sun while I was in the AoA.

On 10-08-96, Brother Patch hissed:

Damn, that Synwraith. We successfully installed Leisure Suit Larry 7 into the Danger Room computer and things were going great until that ancient evil came in and ate all the droids. He got the Jerky too, guys. sorry.
Let's see the party's died down so it looks like it's time for..
Pre-Dawn Drunk Shenanigans
You've all had it. Your evil mischievous side takes over all logic and you start chuckin' the furniture in the pool, TPing the inside of the house, dressing up as Zero Tolerance agents.
I can't stop myself!! Too much Joltz!! Chaos reigns supreme BEHOLD MY MIGHTY HAND!!
Patch is not in right now. Leave a message and he'll get back to you as soon as mutantly possible

EXISTENT-O-RAMA!!!

It was on 10-09-96 that we received a new member, Sister Whiskey. Sister Calypso greeted her at the door:

W: "I wanna join!" the woman cried out in a childish manner. Hi, I'm somewhat new to the newsgroup thing, but I think I could use a forum a little less serious than most of the threads. Therefore I cry out, "Let me join!"
C: Okay, okay you're joined....joined to what?
W: My name is Whiskey. I have the mutant power to make people drunk. My E-Mail address is: RoxySmith@juno.com
C: Well Welcome to the team Sister Whiskey! (being we are a brotherhood we use Brother etc. and Sister etc. as terms of mutual respect, they're formal titles if you will.
W: Nice to meet you. Hope to hear from someone soon. Cuz...I wanna join! (Shut up, Whiskey.) Yes, I have multiple personalities, too, but only Whiskey has the mutant power. (Shut up, Whiskey. Quit bragging.)
C: Hmm, well you wont be the only one, we all have psychological files as confusing as Cibil's.
I'm Calypso a woman with the uncanny ability(tm Marvel entertainment group) to generate Carribean(sp) music ALL the time.
My boyfriend, Boomstick ("also me[hey-ho it's a funny ole' world we live in"]) has the ability to move imaginary objects with his mind.

(about the two personas thing: The reason I have two personalities of differing sex is because Calypso's is not mine, originally it belonged to our current leader Jessica Murray. I am more commonly known as "Boomstick" (as the sig. file says) or even "Doug Jacob Weisgerber" and am in fact a male of 17yrs.)
W: "My hobby is looking at random dead bodies and saying 'It's Jamie all right.' " -- Havok (X-Factor #72, when it was good)
C: What an amazingly good quote!!

Notes about the team: Leadership pretty much runs in this order
Calypso (but only when Jessica uses her)

Jessica Murray (the one who brought the BoSPMwaA to r.a.c.m.x

Boomstick (me again) or anyone willing to take charge of the situation

passive members who'll follow anyone taking charge

New members such as yourself

We are restricted to two "subject headers":

"BOSPM Business" this is the place where policy and membership as well as duties are set:
"BOSPM Party" the non-stop r.a.c.m.x Kegger where the Brotherhood of Small Otter-like Mutants with an Attitude hang out (I'm totally in charge of this thread and the BOSOM)
No stories or plots will be tolerated, we basically sit about and Party with the BOSOM since others are afraid that creators will leave Rac* if we keep writing stories that could be stolen accidentally.
We appreciate Monty Pythonesque humor and used to be really active in the group, but things have quieted down a little (check Deja News for history)
Contact me at fingernail@pipeline.come for more info or just to talk.

Brother Doran commented again on 10-09-10 about the Otters:

Oh, don't worry. They're giving Deadpool a series. The Otters will get the exposure they deserve soon enough. How did the Otters originate anyway. Did Calypso get implanted with a Mclean egg and secretly tried to train an army of latent trolls while the rest of the BoSPMwaA was thought dead in the flame wars? The first appearance was in a polybagged post and I couldn't flip through it.
Magus Doran of the BoSPMwaA who wants to know what the group is all about considering he's becoming more and more otter like after having the zinc pulled out of his system.

Sister Whiskey, ever eager to get us drunk replied to Brother Doran:

Where are you, zinc!?!
Well, Whiskey here. In response to my new membership demands...now, you're all drunk. This isn't much of a party yet, but I'm sure it'll pick up now that I'm here.
Once again must thank Calypso for initiating me and say, "Keep on drinking, or just call me!"

In response to Brother Doran's query about the Otters:

Actually you can take the truth or the story version.
THE TRUTH: They were a spelling mistake by someone, a later post introduced the otters Ace and another (I think his name was Maveric but I'm not sure.)
THE STORY: The otters true origin is unknown. When it is revealed it will be a turning point in BoPSMwaA history to be recorded by engineer (or whatever he calls himself now.)
Blue Shark: "When the shark bites, with his teeth babe, scarlet billows ..... I forgot the rest but it would have made a cool sig.

Returning to 10-09-96, Sister Whiskey and Brother Tomcat:

T: Grrrr: Tomcat - just been at the pub, and feeling silly. Anybody want to scratch my back?
W: "Sure, hon!" the woman cried as she bounced into the pub (or wherever this party is.)
She flipped out a long plastic back scratcher and handed it to the cat. She hopped over to the record player and flung their dead music (well, not dead, overplayed?) and threw it across the room (don't worry it's padded.) Gently placing "Boys Don't Cry" on the turn table, the sweet, depressing Robert Smith lyrics dripped out of the speakers and flooded the floor.
Somebody yelled, "Hey! What are we wading in?"
Whiskey smiled and said, "Who cares, you're all drunk."

On 10-10-96, Brother Magus replied to Brother Scotty Laforged:

SL: "Just a good ole boys, never meanin' no harm . . . ."
M: Hey, that Barbara Bach, man!!!
Well I'm dropping out of the troll battle since Kate's trying to clean up the mess. I had my fun now back to the NMB&G it's BYOB for the biggest bash for the BoSPMwaA and me.
Hey! I found a way into the old WCA bungalows too. Rick Jones lent me his Identicard (he's really cool about it if you let him tag along on an adventure or two). I'm thinking a big Halloween Mutant Beach Party. You can come as either your AoA or Amalgam self or maybe we'll mix and match identities. We just have to keep it down a little bit so we don't wake up the Celestial next door.

Look here! something this way comes . . . Brother Souper joins

Well, now that Whiskey's joined up, I guess I will too. Besides, she threatened to give me alcohol poisoning if I didn't join. Anyway, my power is the mutant ability to turn things blue. The height of uselessness. And my name is Super. I couldn't begin to explain why, so don't ask.
BTW, I found a BOSPM web page a while ago, but I forgot where it was. I don't suppose some kind soul could gimme the URL?

Well, thank you, goodnight, and I've just turned your cat blue! Hee-hee!

And another one comes out to join as well, Brother Strax! Brother Scotty Laforged greets him:

Sx: I want to join, too! NO strange initiations, I hope...I'm allergic to sheep:)
SL: Ahh, you must be the mysterious 3rd newone.
Sx: That'd be me!:) My name is Strax, cursed from birth* with the ability to talk constantly and make no sense whatsoever. It comes in very handy at work:)
SL: Strax a realname or a BoSPMwaA! codename?
Sx: It's not my real name . . . that's David...Strax is the name I have taken after a few Jack Daniel's inspired Vision Quests! It stuck for a netname, though...and figured it would work here as well.... *Marvel Comics Group registered trademark* Can I join, too?!?!
SL: Done! You and the others shall be enshrined/entombed tonight. Just wait outside for now, until the BoSPMwaAmobile comes on by to pick you up. Don't worry, we know where you live . . .
Sx: Do we get cards and decoder rings??? Maybe a JenYouWine Stan Lee cigar, half-smoked and chewed: P

Strax(wondering just what he's got himself into)

Brother Labrys and Sister Whiskey speak near a miked potted plant on 10-11-96:

L: "I'm not drunk yet!"
Boy, I ain't but barely participated in this party yet. Well, that's gotta change--I could use a good party right about now. College is soooo stressful ;). Okay, where's the vodka, and do you have fruit juice on tap?
Vodka and Cran-Raspberry . . . now *that's* a drink. W: Case you didn't know, sugar, with me around you don't NEED a drink to get drunk. (That's my power, don't ya know? I can even reverse it to eliminate hang overs... te he)
L: And what good is that power, Whiskey? Concocting strange and sometimes even glowing glasses of brew is half the fun when you're drinking!
W: I must go now, my okonomiyaki is congealing rapidly. You're all half-drunk.

When we taped Brother Super's brain engrams and worked them out, we got this that day as well:

Whiskey: He says he's not drunk!
Super: He will be soon, he has a very low tolerance.
Brian: I feel fine...
Super: You're not fooling anyone. You'll be stoned drunk in a moment!
Brian: I think I'll go for a walk...
Super: Look, isn't there anything you can do?
[Whiskey uses her power to make Brian drunk]
Brian: I feel sober! I feel shoberrrr!
Super: Oh, go get a glass of Beer!
[Brian tries to walk, but just trips on his own feet and passes out on the floor.]
Sorry, been watching Holy Grail too many much....

Brother Labrys chats with Brother PADvocate on 10-11-96 about something that was a while ago:

L: I have an AOA self?!?!?!?!?! Boy, hope he didn't get caught up in the nuclear explosion. And an Amalgam self? What newsgroup are we crossing over with? Not alt.evil, I hope--I'd hate become "Brian Gee" for an issue :).
P: Well, I'm amalgamating with rec.sport.pro-wrestling. They're truly immature over there...
L: --Brian "TICK" Hudson, practicing the Amalgam thing (Kidding, Jon, kidding).
P: Ahem. This is Jonamaker, and you are a pale imitation of me. You must like the Pukester. (If you don't get this, mail ADDer, he'll explain.)Jonamaker
I hate Hulk Hogan, so should you

And Brother Boomstick, Brother Monty, and Mr. Proctor chimes in that same day:

M: My AoA self is an evil minion of the Dark Otter.
Proc: Well, my AoA self was working in the mines under Sugar Man; you got lucky! B: We now which Hierarchy Honker's amalgamated with, that's right, alt.sex*... Proc: The whole damn hierarchy?!?!

B: AAAAARRRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!
B: I've just been joined...
B: It's to.....to.... Alt.FREEMASONARY?!?!?!?!?!?!
Proc: There's an alt.freemasonry?
B: Hey, that ain't to shabby!!
B: Now that the Brotherhood of Slightly Peeved Mutants has been annexed into the illumanati is there anyone we need assassinated according to ritual?
B: Boomstick, "Wild Theory Dept. here I come!"
M: Can you tame a wild theory?
Proc: I can, but nobody else will listen to me...

B: (I really like this idea!! Jump in with your own Newsgroup to join with have fun with it)

Brother Monty and Mr. Proctor comments again:

M: Well you were lucky. I was some how amalgamated with alt.ponds. Want a goldfish, how about an ornamental koi?
Wait a minute I meant rec.ponds
Proc: Well, I got amalgamated with BOTH Rec.arts.sf.tv.startrek.current AND rec.arts.sf.starwars, and my Amalgam self has spent the last five years staying up all night arguing with himself over whether the Enterprise-D or a Star Destroyer would win in a fight...

And Brother Labrys said:

Well, I've just become lucky or unlucky, depending on your point of view.
I've just been Amalgamated with alt.fan.pratchett.
--Brian PTerry Hudson, Wizard.

On 10-11-96, Sister Whiskey confounds us with this about Calpyso and Brother Souper:

C: Bro or Sis? sil vous plait.
S: That would be Brother. Last time I checked anyway.
W: Of course, he's a man. Brother Souper has a wife (my best friend) and they have a child (well it isn't his)...anyway...he's a male and a big, hairy one at that...
(I've got to stop Whiskey before...oh no! Not the wife! Now they all know... )
....... ......... .......... ........
"The Eternal Struggle" -- Whiskey/Alicia entity

To which Brother Souper replied:

That's it! Now you'll pay! I've just turned your head blue!
Hee-hee!
Don't listen to her, fellow BOSPMer's! She's in a drunken rage!
Dammit, Whiskey!

de Designer wonders at the possible connection between Souper and Whiskey . . . marriage . . . ex's . . . familial? And then he realizes that this is none of his business.

Thus which Brother Doran replies on 10-12-96:

GAAAH, It would seem that this party has taken a disastrous turn, comrades!! My powers gong wild *retcon* I'm Mclean's adoptive son from his marriage to his first husband
*retcon*
I'm really a mutant Iguana whose power is to look human
*retcon*
I shot J.R.
*retcon*
I was the fifth Monkee, DAMN YOU NESMITH!!
*retcon*
Whoa, back to normal. Whoo, all woozy, can hardly stand up.
I'm okay, don't worry.
hmmm..
(sip)

Following that, on 10-13-96, Sister Whiskey, Brother Boomstick and the Lady Amethyst conversed:

W: How about alt.sex.x-men? ;-)
LA: Actually there is an alt.sex.fetish.x-men but it's empty but for spams more or less. Hows about we all go and play there? Just think, ***** is gay would be on topic!
B: Alrighty! Let's go win it back!!
Amethyst, you should start posting Maharie there (you are "Lady Amethyst" with a slight name change, yes?)
Theresa you go do your thing.
r.a.c.m.x needs a mission!!
and so does the BOSPM/BOSOM!!!

Brother Monty and Brother Boomstick banter over logistics on 10-14-96:

M: It has come to my attention that Jessica Murray (co-leader of BoSPMwaA) has not yet declared her powers (I checked her information on engineers page) Only mutants can be BoSPMwaA members so if she doesn't declare her mutancy and powers she must leave the official membership roster.) This conspiracy must end now!
B: Calypso! get me my copy of the BOSPM leadership manual
"What am I your secretary?"
Maybe
_->Smack<-_
Um....I mean, No?
"Here"
->thud<- (in case you were wodering that was the sound of a large "pocket size" (shyeah, right) book slaming down on the desk)
Let's see
Ah ha....
'4.0 Joining the BOSPMwaA can be a fun and interesting experience....'
flip+flip+flip+flip

'4.5 the reqiurements for membership are few, here's a list:
Not a Troll*

Special abilities beyond those of the standard issue human being.

Must follow orders of (scratched out)-a-p-p-o-i-n-t-e-d- (scratched out) leader.
(penciled in) 4 must place BOSPM at begining of "subject header"
(penciled in) 5 must only use the "subject headers" BOSPM Party and BOSPM Buisness.

* non-mythical usenet Troll'

I don't see anything stating need of mutancy.
Longshot and Psylocke aren't mutants and they're X-men.
Jessica created the BOSPM and is incredibly beautiful, so these are her abilities: extreme creativity and beauty.
THERE!! SHE QUALIFIES!!! HAPPY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?
No coup will be staged under my watch, even if it would mean me being official leader......Oh, no wait a minute, Nah!
M: No man is an island, can I be a continent then?
B: NO! if another continent were added sea level would rise drasticly and we;'d drowned.

On 10-16-96, Brother Monty, for lack of a better thing to do, wrote:

I have no idea whether to call this business or party so I will make a trivia thread.
Don't worry if you don't know, even I don't know all the answers.

THE DARK AGES (pre-archiving)

The BoSPMwaA abbreviation and the search for new members first appeared at the end of whose post?

BoSPMwaA had brutal beginnings as Calypso tried kidnapping to force this waterfowl to join?

In an attempt at furthering the cause I tried to make the first casting call, what did I misinterpret the name as?

THE GOLDEN AGE (the age of archivist)

Who did the first BoSPWwaA casting call?

What are the requirements for joining? how many members didn't meet the requirements and still joined?

Who is the animated cosmic hero we had encounters with?

This guy will "beam you up" to the official web page. Who is he?

Who was the first threat to BoSPMwaA

Who is the daughter of Onslaught and Apocalypse?

Who is Sinisters empathic paramour?

Who are the official BoSPMwaA enforcers?

What place do our threats check in to courtesy of Bug?

How many places do BoSPMwaA call home? What are they?

Who does BoSPMwaA's dental plan?

What member shares his name with a Micronaught [tik]?

Who is Monty? (or perhaps who isn't monty is a better question)

What are the furry allies of BoSPMwaA?

What otters have been named so far?

A TIME OF TROUBLES

Who is the troll who makes waterfalls?

Why did people want to close down BoSPMwaA.

What are the current headers that all posts must appear under?

THE AGE OF ENLIGHTENMENT and POWERS

Who have we invited to our party?

"Drunk, sober, drunk, sobre" "HEY STOP THAT!" I'm yelling till I'm blue in the face, wait now my face is blue. I want an official powers check to determine who is doing this to my. State their names here.

Who is our resident empath?

What team members have sonic powers?

Who can incinerate you at the expense of his keyboard but prefers his trusty shotgun?

Who can make subs?

Whose power is omnipotence? (isn't this a bit powerful for BoSPMwaA?)

One has knowledge of X-factor from issue 71-Mackie as a power the other is an avid Havok fan which has nothing to do with his powers?

Who shot projectiles from his nose?

Take a chance and guess who our resident luck manipulator is.

Who is our resident vermontster?

Who sings Les Mis off key?

You can search the site for your answers

Everyone is replying to messages long ago forgotten -- deal with it.

Sister Whiskey finally replies to Brother Doran on 10-16-96:

"Someone called? (nevermind how long ago). Well, there's an interesting sight!" Suddenly Whiskey stumbles and she tumbles into a dimensional vortex, leaving behind a startled looking Hawaiian girl. Whiskey's screams echo weirdly through the pub as a smile spreads across the new girl's face.
A faint cry is heard, "Oh no! A condensed network of AMGLAM (ha ha Sooper) realities. What?! That one's opening! I'm being sucked into ALT.BEER! I now have the power to make people drunk while leaving a bad taste in their mouths. I wonder if my power still works in my old reality."
Sooper giggles and turns the wall blue. Apparently her powers still work. By now everyone is confused by this ridiculous plot twist and a blue cat rubs against the stranger's leg.
"And you are?" the feline purs.
The smile on her face broadens as, below, Whiskey realizes something's missing. "Call me, Alicia."
!!!

Sister Mindset replies to Brother Monty on 10-16-96:

Mo: Hey Sinister is passed out in the corner
Mi: Oh... How terribly embarassing... Come on, dear, let's get you home... mmhmm.. yes, Nathaniel, I know. Hard work, long day.. should have told me, alcohol's no help... oh, it was her? Well, that's her power, she can't help it... ok, that's all right then. Would you like some coffee? Mine, silly, not Moira's. 'Course I do, dear... [blush]
Mo: and he mentioned his mutagen spiked punch will turn you into something but I couldn't determine if he said it will t urn you into an otter or a Summers.
Mi: Mmm? A Summers with long hair who likes to swim... heh.. good fun, that.. A little better now? Good, I don't want to end up as atoms all over the countryside when we teleport...
Bye, guys... [apologetic smile]
Brucha S. Meyers -- [[fzzt]] ok, let's try that again.... [blink]

And Sister Whiskey interjcts again on 10-16-96:

tee hee...
Did you guys know there's an otter Beanie Baby? Now you're drunk with a bad taste in your mouth plus you start singing badly. (I've AMALGAMed with alt.beer & alt.music.karaoke)
tee hee...
Whiskey
"Happy the Hippo loves to wade
In the river and in the shade
When Happy shoots water out of his snout
You know he's happy without a doubt!"
-- Thank you, oh hired poets of the Ty Toy Company

Brother Monty exclaims on 10-16-96:

HEY GUYS! I found this neat giant robot in the basement. Now this will really make the party fun, especially since my powers are on vacation on X-Isle.

Gracious Jessica, our former leader, releases this taped statement to her members of BoSPMwaA! on 10-16-96:

Conspiracy my foot, Brother Monty! It was a simple oversight. Simple, simple, simple oversight.
As for my powers, I have the amazing ability to do as little as superhumanly possible for extended periods of time, and to summon hordes of slow-walking people (involuntarily) to walk in front of me so I feel late. They're usually smokers, too.
--Jessica Murray
Boomstick, if you want the thankless task of leading the BoSPMwaA, be my guest.
Calypso, help the kid out, would you?

To which Brother Sooper cites on 10-17-96 unrelatedly:

Wow. I've just Amalgamed with alt.happy and alt.life.sucks.
And now I'm singing a bad karioke version of Manic Depression, while drunk, and the taste in my mouth is really getting to me. I think I'm
gonna be sick!
Sorry about your shoes. Ever seen blue vomit (tm) before?

With nothing else on the net, Borther Monty stated:

Out from the shadows step a group of mutant party crashers.
Jazz: musical mutant

Haiku: who only speaks in lines of five/seven/five sylables in a poetic way

Strobe: creates flashing lights

Arthros: he summons harmless invertibrates

Spelunker: expert in subterranian travel

Moniter: able to sit hours staring at a screen no matter how boring it is

They are looking for BoSPMwaA and believe us to be an alternate reality version. They say the real BoSPMwaA had second toes longer than the first and were all married to someone, one is even a longtime enemy of someone named english major. These insane alternates want us dead just like they wanted to kill their BoSPMwaA!

When the date 10-29-96 arrived, Brother Boomstick and Sister Honkers commented:

B: It has come to my attention that some people don't think that the BOSPM is fun anymore, and so I will endeavor to make it more . . . . . interesting.
H: We need all the help we can get . . .
B: Starting tomorrow: THE ALL NEW ALL DIFFERENT XME-- . . . Er, we mean BOSPMWAA!!!!!!
H: 'Nuff said?
B: Gee, how many times have we read that on a comic cover? A whole new chapter in the anals...... Dammit Honkers!!!! Stop messing with the friggin' cue cards!!!! . . . .
H: I'm holding them as straight as I can boss. I can't help but wobble at times.
B: Anyway It's going to be different, . . . . . I think.
H: I'm looking forward to it. :-) Theresa -- The one Gambit fan in this group....

Then Brother Boomstick had a conversation with Sister Honkers that same time on 10-29-96:

B: Well, It's tomorrow
"That's not possible!", we all cried (yes, everyone is still here in the woodwork ;D)
B: Ah, but it is when you have access to a time machine.
"Isn't that dangerous. I mean couldn't we cause an awful time paradox?"
B: Nah, The Summers timetravel all the time, just ask Mindset. Besides even if we did it would probably only lead to a really cool mega crossover!!!!

Latter that day.... or is it 2000 years from now? It's so hard to tell in these time spanning stories.

Boomstick: God damn it Whiskey [hik]. Jusst because you can impper . . . impure . . . impart . . . . . mess up [hik] my judgement don't mean you cin alwayz git yer way [hik]
Whiskey: Yes it does... knock it off, Alicia.
B: I'll shoow you, I'll jus' get in this here time machine and win this argument before it startz!
W: No!, wait!... just go already....Alicia, your not helping here!
B: You can't stop me, neither of you.

ZZZZZZZARK!!!!!!!!!!!!
A new chapter in BOSPM history......
A World without Jessica!!!!!!
Boomstick's accidental tampering with history has caused an extreme divergence from the original timeline.
Boomstick, an amnesiac joined the BOSPM as the original recruiting officer and caused history to change for the worst.
His actions in the past have caused things to be very different . . . . . or something.
(Um, somebody help me out here.)

As well, a new member joined on 10-29-96, Brother Squash, welcomed by Brother Monty, and added by Brother Scotty Laforged:

"de Designer!"
"Yes, Scotty Laforged?"
"Put this guy in the site, okay?"
"Done!"
"And send the BoSPMwaAmobile to pick him and that other lady up so they can meet the others . . . You've already tracked their addresses and SS and SID numbers, right?"
"Chya! Of course."

On 10-30-96, newly initiated Brother Squash replies to a question of his powers:

Q: Is it actual squash or merely a similar material?
A: That mystery is still under investigation. These powers were given to me by a powerful cosmic entity who strangely resembled Julia Child (kinda fat and had a VERY strange voice). As near as I can tell it comes from that parallel dimension we all know and love "Dimension Squash"
From my experiments I have an unlimited supply of this squishy, stringy material so have no fear, our supply of appetizers is safe (hehe). I'm sure you'll all love Spicy Mexican Squash Balls which is my signature dish.

Any way, updated information on the Status of my rare talents will come as I come across it. I don't know if this mystery will ever be solved but with your help maybe I can discover my Destiny as SQUASH MAN!!!!!
Good day and good journey my brothers,
Tylar4

Sister Whiskey replies, on 10-30-96, to Brother Boomstick's call for assistance, which is god, since none of us really cared . . .

I'd luv to Brother, but I've got problems of my own and all...being separated from myself is quite confusing. Who knew that Alicia was Hawaiian? Well, I did and maybe Cousin Sooper, but who else? Anyway, I'll do what I can...
In this timeline, Whiskey is tormented by a blonde Surfer boy named Robbie who is completely in love with her other personality, Alicia. To confuse matters, he wants to marry her and she has accepted. Whiskey is none too thrilled. I can't tell you how everyone else is doing here. All I know is Sooper is mysteriously completely blue? (Can a mutant work his power against himself? Would that be like Rogue stealing her own memories...or something)...
Luv,
Whiskey
Who is brain dead at this point...

Brother Souper and Brother Monty conversed on 11-10-96 to 11-13-96 about Sister Whiskey's question on 10-30-96:

W: I can't tell you how everyone else is doing here. All I know is Sooper is mysteriously completely blue?
[cut to a laboratory in Super's basement.]

Sooper: I've finally completed the formula that will change mutant-kind forever! Too bad Whiskey isn't here to test it on.
Oh, well, I'll test it on myself.
[Siouxper injects himself with a purple liquid. He suddenly becomes dizzy.]
Sewper: What's... happening... to... me....!

[He falls into the shadows in a dark corner. A door opens upstairs to reveal... Sooper's daughter, Amber.]
Amber: Daddy, are you down there?

to be continued...

M: He drank the Sooper soldier serum! He sure is feeling (and looking) blue now! Is this part of the all new all different BoSPMwaA thread Boomstick promised will be here soon?
S: Not only that, but I've developed a split-personality that likes to experiment on my loved ones. I've discovered that my wife, Angel, is a mutant, too, with the ability to cloud peoples minds with her giggling, and my daughter Amber is a mutant, but we won't know what her power is until she reaches puberty.
S: This "Sooper soldier serum" as you call it, somehow mutates norms, and look what it did to me! I'm a freak! Anyway, anybody wanna sip? Then come over to alt.super, where the Whiskey/Alicia entity serves drinks with God-knows-what in them. Come on, it'll be fun.
M: Suddenly a light flashes and someone steps out, I am face to face with myself. But it isn't the me I know, he looks older and wiser. He speaks, "I have come from the future because you will die." I asked him if he came to prevent my death but the answer was an ominous NO! He raised his gun to my head and fired. It blasted right through me ricocheted off a haphazardly placed mirror and destroyed the time portal. "AAAAAH!", shouted my future self, "I came to destroy him because I thought he was a danger to the timeline. I assumed it was my old self with those stupid powers that caused the futures troubles but instead I may be the cause of the very future I tried to prevent."
W: Then come over to alt.super, where the Whiskey/Alicia entity serves drinks with God-knows-what in them. Come on, it'll be fun.
M: I can't get alt.super does it even exist. Perhaps it is like alt.image and it is one of the groups that are impossible for me to get.
S: This is so confusing. I think I'll sit down. Oh, my GOD, I'm growing an extra arm. Oh, wait, no I'm not. It must be something in that plate of chicken tacos Whiskey served me...
W: Hey, there's nothing wrong with my tacos!
M: (subliminal message) I can't get to alt.super (subliminal message)
M: What is alt.super about, does it even exist? I can't get it.
S: Please please please post to alt.super I'm going broke there I can hardly afford to keep running alt.obsessive.nerd Really, folks, check these groups out. we aren't lying about having taken them over...
S: Sorry if this post seems to ramble on and on, but it's been one of those days... (Subliminal message) post to alt.super (Subliminal message)
S: "Here he comes again, my evil twin, My friends have seen him hiding underneath my skin."
M: I'll tear your skin to shreds to destroy the evil twin if you want me to. Just think, all this time Sooper husks into dark super and we never noticed.
W: P.S. Alicia says it's fun in Hawaii.. I wouldn't know.
M: One personality doesn't know what the other is doing. The Whisky, Alicia, Sooper (sorry, I couldn't resist) entity has gone it's separate ways.

On 11-13-95, Brother Tomcat returns to us from being lost:

Well, after a lengthy year-end exams-induced absence from r.a.c.m.x, here I am. I would like to reaffirm my allegiance to intelligent discourse in r.a.c.m.x, and ludicrous rapscallionism in the BoSPM. I would also like to state quite unequivocally that I am in no way affiliated to the meowspammers.

Brother Labrys replies on 11-14-96:

Hey, welcome back! As you can see, BOSPM's kinda died off, if for no other reason than a) most of us are too busy to post a lot, and b) well, it just kinda ran dry for a while. But I'm sure we'll spring back eventually. I'm betting on January.

Suddenly on 11-15-96, a flash message appeared from Brother Scotty Laforged:

My fellow brothers and sisters of the slightly peeved! We must be ever on call to aid that of the mutants that cannot, that will not, that should not bow down to the trials and tribulations that the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants which to inflict on all the flatscans!
	F-our score and seven posts ago!
	R-ead my lips!
	E-veryone must choose his way!
	A-ll for one and one for all!
	K-eep the flame of freedom burning strong!
	S-ave the planet!
Jessica! My beloved leader! We must all gather at the BoSPMwaA! headquarters at the back of the Bar to formulate how we shall beat them. The BoSPMwaAmobile shall pick everyone up, and along the way, we can delineate our "Slightly Peeved Attack Manifesto" (S.P.A.M.) in which we will work out how to defeat the evil ones!
((list an enemy, and list how your powers can help our cause))
Let's make a difference!
Uhm . . . er, I can't drive the BoSPMwaAmobile for a while, since I'm going camping this whole weekend. Joshua Tree!!! See ya them folks. Jessica has the keys, bum rides from her (or use the "Sub" from Brother Boomstick)

Brother Boomstick replied that same day to Scotty Laforged, with interjections by Brother Monty:

SL: ... the flatscans!
B: SMACK!!!!!
Brother LaForge if I find you uttering such slurs again I'll start pelting you with imaginary objects, very heavy ones. Invisible pianos and everything.
SL: . . . Let's make a difference!
B: Brother Tomcat is our only hope, with the odds this stacked against us we'd surely lose, but with his help we'll be able to level the playing field with the random zaniness that we're almost used to.
M: I shall help you, ever since I destroyed my past self because of a disaster caused by his uselessness I have been trapped in the past myself. My future tech and incredible mutant FUTURE POWERS will be useful because they are always mightier than the tech and powers of mutants from the past.
Sister Mindset can pray on Magneto's secret insecurities.
Honkers and Calypso'll run sound distraction and generally be annoying (Calypso will get to them with annoyingly catchy music and Honkers'll just use her personality :-).
M: Honkers does have a very distracting power.
Kid York can retcon them into advanced stages of legacy infection or start removing memory blocks and memory implants that were never ever hinted at before.
M: He was nominated as a member but has he ever showed up for a meeting, this information was lost in my time.
Sister Whiskey can get them stumbling and misfiring, which'll be dangerous in itself, but nearly as bad as if they were _hitting_ what they were _aiming_ for.
If we fail we can always have Brother Bug pop up from the pocket dimension he's trapped in and use the time machine that Calypso went on vacation in to rewrite history so that Tox runs the western hemisphere and THE VILLIAN!!!!TM is actually in charge of the BOSPM.
((about Joshua Tree trip Scotty Laforged took that weekend))
M : Joshua tree? what a strange sounding plant that is.
SL: . . . (or use the "Sub" from Brother Boomstick)
B: Um, I don't know how to tell you this, but we carved it up for refreshments and served it at the party :-(
M: Future Monty!
Zap! Zap! Zap! "Hold still you miserable amphibian, my amazing negaton ray will incinerate you."
"gribbit, Master help me! I am a weak pathetic mutant."

Then on 11-16-96, Lord Magnus finally replied to us:

what do you think your funky group can do against the BoEM?
with the mere wave of my hands your alarm clocks will be reset so that you don't wake up and throw off your watches so you can't caliberate your attack. I can keep sending "It's a small world" into your radios to drive you insane, better yet, country stations.
if you still do not surrender I shall be forced to make you all anemic for the rest of your days and hospitalize you. how would you like to suffer to 24 hour a day static shocks from being eternally polarized?
yes, I am the most powerful mutant ever.
Erik Magnus Lensherr
A.K.A.: Magneto
Master of Magnetism
Avalon, Earth Orbit

Email Address: jgupta@chat.carleton.ca

Even later that evening, Brother Boomstick and Labrys replied to Lord Magnus:

M: what do you think your funky group can do against the BoEM?
B: Most of our abilities are fairly useless, but we have a few useful members. One, Kid York writer for Gen X UXM and X-men, can change your past out from underneath you. He has the power of retcon. Mindset can analyze you from your own point of view and then try to make friends, or take apart your fractured mind with scathingly painful statements. Whiskey can send you into a drunken stupor.
M: with the mere wave of my hands your alarm clocks will be reset so that you don't wake up and throw off your watches so you can't calibrate your attack. I can keep sending "It's a small world" into your radios to drive you insane, better yet, country stations.
L: ? B: You wouldn't! You monster!!! :-)
M: if you still do not surrender I shall be forced to make you all anemic for the rest of your days and hospitalize you. how would you like to suffer to 24 hour a day static shocks from being eternally polarized?
B: One question: What ever happened to inviting all mutants to Avalon?
M: yes, I am the most powerful mutant ever.
B: Well, I'd say that our own Kid York (only truly an honorary member) is more powerful. How would you like to have been born a woman?
I'd just like to say that I respect you and wish that we could see eye to eye, but if you want to throw down on us then come on then. One at a time or all together it makes no difference to me.

Epilogue:
("quick! Call Ironman and tell him to bring the anti magnetic field generators." " What!!! What do you mean he's dead?".)

In reply to Lord Magnus, Brother Scotty Laforged on 11-17-96:

M: BoSPMwaA= Brotherhood of Slightly Peeved Mutants with an Attitude, your methods are fruitless. i will not join the ranks of unmotivated mutants. perhaps if it appears that we may have similar goals, an alliance might be in the future. until then, stay clear or you will be swept aside.
SL: Ahh, my dear Eric, it is not necessarily fruitless. Our goal, as middle road as it may seem, it to show from example, that ours is of the same kind that brings love and life between all subspecies of the homo sapiens. We are not evil, not are we good, unless we choose to be so. We just are
Look to your own ranks for our members, for we have reached everywhere, even the high reaches of Avalon, when that young novitiate spoke.

On 11-18-96, Brother Tomcat replies to Lord Magnus:

Gee, it sure would be tragic if, by a terrible quirk of *bad luck* (tm), you happened to be standing near the knife rack when you attacked moi, Mags ;)
Grrrr
Tomcat, resident luck channeller of the BoSPMwaA
also an all-around nice guy feline
not affiliated to the meowspammers

And Sister Whiskey notes on 11-18-96 about Brother Tomcat's return:

I guess I can see the point of us being busy, but even so couldn't we post when we do check. I'm dying here, well at least I haven't had time to obsess over the absence of BOSPM. Which reminds me. if you can get alt.obsessive.nerd or alt.super subscribe because those are mine and Sooper's groups respectively.
Well, Brother Tomcat, it's nice to have you back. I noticed your furry absence. Look out for evil Super.

kay bye
Whiskey

And on 11-18-96, Brother Monty added:

Well after killing my past self it is really hard to think of ideas, it's as if my whole history is slowly being erased. What can I remember that can be of help, let me think. The future BoSPMwaA was an effective fighting force with Me (better than my past self because I learned to work with my powers not against them and I have future weaponry that all future mutants have access to.), Boomstick whose power to have flames shoot from his fingertips while holding a keyboard caused the keys to melt to his hand giving him permanent fire power, Rachel DeVarque child of St. Kate and Ardy, owner of the future newsgroup rec.arts.comics.dnd. And I forgot the rest, killing your past self has serious implications, my past I didn't live is being erased. Let me look at the BOSPM web page for ideas. Oh we can fight them. The enforcers Vermillion, Bruce, and ADDer have this as their job. We need an emergency strike force including Bug to blank their minds, Tomcat for good luck, whoever has listed the power of omnipotence (someone has, I forgot who but check the web page.), Honkers, Calypso, and Razzler for sonic powers, Who listed name xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx powers xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx original BOSPM member we have to find out what that power does, Squash Man bury them in squash strands to squash them flat, Mindset get into their minds, if you can take Boomstick with you after all telepathy is just projecting thoughts so telepathic images are projected imagination he may be able to lift them. BOSPM ASSEMBLE! You call it BOSPM in this timeline don't you? In the future it was called BoSPMwaA because BOSPM was the Brotherhood of Seriously Perverted Meowers.